I know lots of people who have a big ‘please others’ driver. I admire those people but I am not one of those people. There are many things I care deeply about and get amped up over – feminism being one of them. But then there are a lot of things that I just refuse to give a shit about. Or things that I used to care about that I’m trying to not give a shit about. As a woman of 33 and a mother of 2, here are my top 10 things that I vow not to give a shit about anymore:
- Ironing; No one likes ironing. We do it so people don’t think our clothes are all creased. If someone wants to judge me about my clothes being creased then that’s not the kind of person whose opinion I value. I dislike ironing more than I dislike people criticising me for not ironing so I just don’t do it. Let that shit go. I haven’t ironed in about 8 years and you know what, there has been no impact and I’ve saved myself a shit ton of time and effort.
- Saying no; I’m pretty comfortable with saying no when I don’t want to commit to something. I’m not the kind of person who self sacrifices a lot (except for when it comes to my kids).
- Peeling vegetables; I buy organic and then leave the skins on and call it ‘rustic’ or some shit. I don’t care enough about there being potato skin in my mash to bother peeling them. Loads of the nutrients are in the skin anyway; That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
- Caring what others think of me: Largely, I don’t care what other people think of me. Occasionally someone will say something that gets to me but by and large I’m not a people pleaser. Other people’s perceptions are just that, their perceptions. They do not alter your reality. Know and live your truth and let other people’s judgement fall off you like water off a duck’s back.
- Wearing heels; They are uncomfortable and we risk injury wearing them. Either from tripping or just the long-term impact on our body, like bunions, posture problems or back ache. Now I have two little people I need to run after a lot I haven’t got time to be pissing about in heels. I’ll wear them for a very special occasion and that’s it. There are loads of gorgeous comfortable flats out there and I’m at that time in my life where I’m embracing that.
- Making time for fair weather friends; I’m fortunate that I have lots of wonderful people in my life. I struggle to find enough time to spend with these people. Life with a job, a blog and kids is very busy. I refuse to waste time on people I don’t really like or who don’t really like me. That time is precious and I could be spending it with people who I love and who love me back. If you are a bit of a dick, I’ll be cutting you out my life as quick as Kim K dropped Paris.
- Removing all my body hair; It costs me time, money and effort and I’m so over it. This is one I’m really trying to embrace as I still feel self-conscious when I have hairy legs or armpits on show in public. I’m trying to work through the cultural conditioning that has made me believe I am gross if I’m in my natural state of hairy. I refuse to wax again. Its barbaric, painful and expensive.
- Obsessing about my eyebrows; I lived through the 90s/00s where we were told we were only beautiful if we plucked our brows within an inch of their lives. Now women are spending all of their time and money trying to have thick bushy eyebrows as that is what is trendy. We are now spending money on filling brows in. The brows we plucked out in the early 2000s. Last week I read that ‘feather brows’ are in. I’m so over it all. I’m 33 now and have seen so many eyebrow trends that I’ve realised its best to just leave them the fuck alone. Are the men worrying about this, largely no. Its just another thing the patriarchy wants us to focus on so men can steal our time, money and pay rises.
- Tolerating sexist jokes/comments; I no longer meekly laugh or put up with sexist comments in order to keep the peace. I shut that shit down. Why did I want to keep the peace with a misogynist anyway, I do forget.
- Having a tan; I’m British. We rarely see the sun. Trying to stay tanned is futile and a waste of my time. I used to think that if you got a tan gradually without burning that it was healthy. Now I have learned that any tan at all is skin damage. Now I’m in my 30s I care more about skin damage than a tan. A tan is fleeting but sun spots and wrinkles are permanent. It’s actually very freeing to not care about it anymore. You can enjoy your time in the sun instead of trying to get a tan. You don’t have to lay in the sun past the point of comfort. Of course there is fake tans but that’s just as bad. More time, more money and you end up streaky and ruining your clothes. Not to mention looking like an absurd Trump-alike.
I could go on all day but 10 is a nice round number so I’ll stop there and open the floor to you. Do you save yourself time and money by refusing to care about anything? Have you got less patience as you get older? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
28 thoughts on “10 things I refuse to give a shit about now I’m in my thirties”
Yes! As a fellow thirtysomething (33, in fact!) I can agree with every single one of these. Sadly, I still need to perfect the art of ‘not people pleasing’ as much but I can relate to your views on everything else and aspire to find my backbone one day 😉 Lisa
Thanks Lisa. I’m definitely still perfecting it too. It’s a work in progress!
Yes to everything!! lol
I go one step further when it come to veg! I cheat and buy it already peeled….I don’t care!
I taught my teen to iron her school shirts…That’s the only ironing which goes on here. lol x
Why didn’t I think of that?! Great idea Kim
With you on most of these – ESP the ironing much to my mam’s disgust!
I do like a tan though, although I’m not obsessed and would never fake tan/sun bed. I just feel better when I’m not so pasty.
Haha, bless your mam being disgusted in you – letting the family down are you?!
Yes yes yes! Although I beleivesome sun exposure is healthier I rarely have a tan and do not care
Yeah it’s important to get some exposure to the sun for vitamin D but once you are getting a tan you’ve got more than enough and are just getting skin damage.
Yes yes yes!!!!! I don’t iron either, what a waste of time that is, I just can’t be bothered with it! I quite often have gorilla legs too and I honestly don’t care! Yay to us!!!!
Yay Chloe! Love it!
Love this list! Can I add dusting? I HATE dusting haha. I second giving a shit about keeping peace with misogynists. Why should we be so nice when they’re so bloody awful?! Tanning went out the window for me a few years ago. I’m working on not caring what people think and I’m glad more people are saying this too ? awesome post as always
Well said! Jeez, I so need to stop ironing!!
You so do! Spend it doing something you love instead!
All of it! Except shaving. I won’t wax ever again either, but I feel like I sweat and smell more when I don’t shave. I don’t even own an iron!
Matching socks is one for me. I have 5 kids, and as long as the tops match, I don’t have time to give any shits if the toes do!
Yup. I still struggle with the hair thing, but I’ll add that I don’t give two shits about wearing makeup, most of them make my skin itch and I’m really not willing to shell out hundreds of dollars for the “clean” kind.
I don’t iron, I don’t take tan but do like catching the sun abroad but not sun bathing! I wish I could stop caring about what people think but my anxiety makes me think no one likes me! I have a few close friends, lots of friends I don’t see often buy know would do anything for me if they could & lots of friends on fb that I never see but have genuine friendships with via social media. Rarely wear heels now, but getting rid of body hair is something I have to do cause I’m so dark haired & very conscious of it! xxx
I just wanted to say I’ve really enjoyed reading this!
I waste so much of my life doing things I dislike, and putting other peoples demands before my own needs. So much so, I’ve made myself even sicker than I probably should be.
I don’t know about anyone else but it’s amazing to think what others can get me to do and push me out of my comfort zone! I’d love to say no more! But, it’s something I’ve struggled with since my younger years and i need to learn to stick to what I need out of life instead of people forcing the issue knowing I’ll put my needs too one side if they go on long enough saying their ‘magic’ words.
My back makes it hard to shave my legs but I’m daft enough to try and contort my body to get ‘socially’ acceptable legs!
Iron hurts but i still slave away trying to get things right that often get scruffy before I even get them on. Why bother!
So get what your on about with the eyebrows too! Oh my goodness do what you want not what the latest trends dictate!
I love your writing and its got me taking a sensible look at why I have to people please all the time 34 is a good an age as any to re-evaluate things.
One thing I’d really like to start doing is stop explaining myself and my actions to others. Sometime soon I’d like to say i don’t give a shit!
Love this post! Because I’m ginger I have fair hair on my legs so don’t shave them often at all. Can’t be bothered – and I only ever waxed once – for my wedding! Rustic veg is the way forward – I leave skins on most things now and I haven’t picked up an iron in my whole adult life x
Oh to have fair hair, I’m jealous. I’m dark so mine is a nightmare! Despite the hair on my head being fine, it’s thick everywhere else – the irony!
I have to peel but then that’s just me, skin in mash potatoes would freak me out.
Ironing is a sore point as the husband believes it’s my job to iron all his shirts. That’s all I iron, wankersrus.
Oh no! Not your job at all. Why doesn’t he iron his own shirts?
Aye. I’m 41 now, but in my 30s took up singing opera, running and making my own clothes largely due to failing to care what I looked like to haters. Now I’m 41 I seem to have given up that politeness filter which used to prevent me from saying things like, “You are too close to me; back off.”
Oh I love that. You’re my hero. I aim to be more like this too.
Do I win because I have refused to care enough to iron since I was a teenager? I do own an iron though – I used it once to hem a dress I’d shortened. Number 2 is a really good one – and probably the hardest for me to keep up with! At least good friends always understand a no <3 xx
Yup, you definitely win!
Amen to all of the above!
Wait til you’re 55,… it gets even better especially the caring less what people think 😉
I imagine you’ll be even more formidable by then, Nyomi!!
Happy #IWD2019 Sharon xo