I know lots of people who have a big ‘please others’ driver. I admire those people but I am not one of those people. There are many things I care deeply about and get amped up over – feminism being one of them. But then there are a lot of things that I just refuse to give a shit about. Or things that I used to care about that I’m trying to not give a shit about. As a woman of 33 and a mother of 2, here are my top 10 things that I vow not to give a shit about anymore:
- Ironing; No one likes ironing. We do it so people don’t think our clothes are all creased. If someone wants to judge me about my clothes being creased then that’s not the kind of person whose opinion I value. I dislike ironing more than I dislike people criticising me for not ironing so I just don’t do it. Let that shit go. I haven’t ironed in about 8 years and you know what, there has been no impact and I’ve saved myself a shit ton of time and effort.
- Saying no; I’m pretty comfortable with saying no when I don’t want to commit to something. I’m not the kind of person who self sacrifices a lot (except for when it comes to my kids).
- Peeling vegetables; I buy organic and then leave the skins on and call it ‘rustic’ or some shit. I don’t care enough about there being potato skin in my mash to bother peeling them. Loads of the nutrients are in the skin anyway; That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
- Caring what others think of me: Largely, I don’t care what other people think of me. Occasionally someone will say something that gets to me but by and large I’m not a people pleaser. Other people’s perceptions are just that, their perceptions. They do not alter your reality. Know and live your truth and let other people’s judgement fall off you like water off a duck’s back.
- Wearing heels; They are uncomfortable and we risk injury wearing them. Either from tripping or just the long-term impact on our body, like bunions, posture problems or back ache. Now I have two little people I need to run after a lot I haven’t got time to be pissing about in heels. I’ll wear them for a very special occasion and that’s it. There are loads of gorgeous comfortable flats out there and I’m at that time in my life where I’m embracing that.
- Making time for fair weather friends; I’m fortunate that I have lots of wonderful people in my life. I struggle to find enough time to spend with these people. Life with a job, a blog and kids is very busy. I refuse to waste time on people I don’t really like or who don’t really like me. That time is precious and I could be spending it with people who I love and who love me back. If you are a bit of a dick, I’ll be cutting you out my life as quick as Kim K dropped Paris.
- Removing all my body hair; It costs me time, money and effort and I’m so over it. This is one I’m really trying to embrace as I still feel self-conscious when I have hairy legs or armpits on show in public. I’m trying to work through the cultural conditioning that has made me believe I am gross if I’m in my natural state of hairy. I refuse to wax again. Its barbaric, painful and expensive.
- Obsessing about my eyebrows; I lived through the 90s/00s where we were told we were only beautiful if we plucked our brows within an inch of their lives. Now women are spending all of their time and money trying to have thick bushy eyebrows as that is what is trendy. We are now spending money on filling brows in. The brows we plucked out in the early 2000s. Last week I read that ‘feather brows’ are in. I’m so over it all. I’m 33 now and have seen so many eyebrow trends that I’ve realised its best to just leave them the fuck alone. Are the men worrying about this, largely no. Its just another thing the patriarchy wants us to focus on so men can steal our time, money and pay rises.
- Tolerating sexist jokes/comments; I no longer meekly laugh or put up with sexist comments in order to keep the peace. I shut that shit down. Why did I want to keep the peace with a misogynist anyway, I do forget.
- Having a tan; I’m British. We rarely see the sun. Trying to stay tanned is futile and a waste of my time. I used to think that if you got a tan gradually without burning that it was healthy. Now I have learned that any tan at all is skin damage. Now I’m in my 30s I care more about skin damage than a tan. A tan is fleeting but sun spots and wrinkles are permanent. It’s actually very freeing to not care about it anymore. You can enjoy your time in the sun instead of trying to get a tan. You don’t have to lay in the sun past the point of comfort. Of course there is fake tans but that’s just as bad. More time, more money and you end up streaky and ruining your clothes. Not to mention looking like an absurd Trump-alike.
I could go on all day but 10 is a nice round number so I’ll stop there and open the floor to you. Do you save yourself time and money by refusing to care about anything? Have you got less patience as you get older? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!