13 funny things my five year old has said lately

13 funny things my five year old has said lately

You guys always seem to like to hear about the funny things my son has said, so here is the 3rd instalment of what will become a regular feature. Arlo is now five years and three months old.

Here are some of the things he has said since he turned five that amused me

  1. ‘Mammy sorry my mouth is not working so I can’t hear you’ (when ignoring me when I told him he couldn’t have a packet of crisps)
  2. ‘Is Siri Alexa’s best friend?’ Baby geek.
  3. ‘Mammy, I just put my finger up my bum by accident’. Not quite sure how it happens by accident but hey ho.
  4. When his friend at school got worms, I told him not to touch his bum in case he had them too. He said ‘but mammy I put my finger up my bum all the time’. Erm, well maybe just don’t son.
  5. (Shouts in an alarmed voice) ‘The baby has gone into the darkness!’ (Lena had walked into the bedroom and the light wasn’t switched on.)
  6. ‘That was SOOOOO AWESOME’ (after he used the electric hand dryer at my work toilets)
  7. ‘Happiness is inside you, you just need help to find it’ (he’s watched a lot of Trolls)
  8. ‘Trolls aren’t alive anymore Mammy, they were alive when the dinosaurs were alive. Everything lives, then it dies, then something else comes along instead. We will die someday’. WTF kid.
  9. Also from trolls he thinks the lyrics to Justin Timberlake’s ‘I’ve got this feeling’ goes as follows – ‘I’ve got this feeling, inside my balls, it goes electric wavy when I turn it on’. Please stop singing this in public kid.
  10. ‘I’ve collected you some eggcorns’ (aka acorns). Awwww.
  11. ‘Your eyes are the camera of your head. You can only see what’s in your head through your camera eyes.’
  12. ‘Mammy the Post Officer is here’ (when our post man came with a parcel)
  13. When his ear hurt one day, he said ‘Mammy, I’m really worried about myself you know’. He’s such a sensitive soul.

Have your kids said anything funny lately? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

13 funny things my five year old has said lately

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29 Comments

    • April 6, 2017 / 09:17

      He is quite deep for a 5 year old (when he’s not shouting ‘I’m not your best friend anymore’) at me. He keeps singing that loudly in public and embarrassing me!

      • April 6, 2017 / 23:51

        I am never going to be able to watch (or hear) that without those lyrics now…. absolutely dying!!!!

        • April 7, 2017 / 12:16

          I’m so pleased it gave you a chuckle Hannah.

  1. April 6, 2017 / 09:25

    I’ve had a good chuckle reading through these, I don’t think I’d be able to compose myself hearing some of these face to face especially the justin timberlake lyrics, so funny! I especially loved his reaction to electric hand dryers haha bless him.

    • April 6, 2017 / 09:26

      Thank you Kate! I definitely did not keep composed. He cracks me up!

  2. newgirlintoon
    April 6, 2017 / 12:41

    Love when you do these! He’s so funny!

  3. April 6, 2017 / 15:23

    The baby has gone into the darkness is hilarious! Could be a quote from a horror movie! X

    • April 6, 2017 / 18:08

      It cracked me up. It was so dramatic and she’d just walked into the office.

  4. Nicola
    April 7, 2017 / 22:40

    My son Caleb is 5 in a few weeks. He says lots of profound and hilarious things. The last couple of days have included the following:
    – when telling me about what Easter means ‘Jesus must have been a zombie because they are the only things that come back from the dead
    – when telling me about different types of soup
    ‘There is one called cock a neeky’ when i say that he means ‘cock a leeky’ he says I am wrong so I ask what its made of and he says ‘cockneys’

    Finally a real bone chilling one that he said about a year ago. After a nightmare he came into our bed to sleep. Later in the night I wake up to see him sitting bolt upright staring around 6 inches above my head. I ask what he is looking at, he replies ‘my bad dream is standing behind you’……

  5. April 8, 2017 / 14:00

    Love this! Why are they all obsessed with bums and poo!!? (My three year old is too!) xx

    • April 14, 2017 / 12:01

      I really don’t know but they are aren’t they. It can be pretty funny though. x

  6. April 21, 2017 / 10:53

    Haha! I loved reading this! Some of them are so funny, especially the lyrics! My niece is Trolls mad! “Aw poppy happy again, her have her cuya (can’t say L’s!) back”

    • April 27, 2017 / 09:01

      Thank you Chelsea. Aww that’s so cute!

  7. Georgina
    May 3, 2017 / 15:01

    Ahh, love them! Arlo comes across as such a sensitive and humorous little boy. He looks a lot older in the pictures, no more baby face but a proper boy now! Xx

    • May 3, 2017 / 15:05

      I know, it happened so fast. This first year of him starting school he’s changed so much! He is such a sensitive and funny boy, I’m pleased that comes across. Thanks Georgina

      • Georgina
        May 3, 2017 / 15:14

        I also imagine him being a bit shy sometimes 🙂 my daughter is a mix, sometimes she will be all over people if she’s comfortable, singing and dancing and sometimes I will take her somewhere and she becomes selectively mute and won’t say a word! She’s grown a bit recently – but not much! What about your two? I think Lena is starting to look more like you! X

        • May 3, 2017 / 19:57

          Thank you, some people say that and I love it because neither of them have looked much like me! Yeah Arlo can be really shy bless him. He seems to have grown up so much the past year!

      • Georgina
        May 3, 2017 / 15:17

        It’s not letting me post again for some reason – trying again!
        I can also imagine Arlo can be a bit shy. Wolly is a mix, can be all singing and dancing if she knows you well but quiet as a mouse if she isn’t in familiar surroundings. She has shot up a bit – but not much! About 2 cm haha! What about your two? I think Lena is starting to look more like you xx

      • Georgina
        May 3, 2017 / 15:18

        And now it’s double posted – grrr! Xx

        • May 3, 2017 / 19:58

          That’s ok – I appreciate you trying so hard. I love getting comments from you!

          • Georgina
            May 3, 2017 / 20:13

            I seem to be allergic to technology, a bit like driving! I think a lot of the time people just see colouring, my girl has grey eyes but if you look closer they are the same size as mine and even though her hair is lighter her features are similar. People seem to want kids to look like the dad I’ve noticed! Perhaps that old thing about looking like the father so he doesn’t run away/eat them in prehistoric times? Ha! You actually look a lot like me I think, it’s uncanny! I’ve never seen anyone else with the same colour eyes.

          • May 3, 2017 / 20:15

            Haha, that is strange, do you follow me on any social media where I can see your photo?

          • Georgina
            May 3, 2017 / 20:21

            Is there one coming up next to my name of me and Wolly?

          • May 3, 2017 / 20:21

            No it’s just a blank avatar

          • wollyfan
            May 3, 2017 / 20:29

            Oh – it’s showing on mine. Let me try again

  8. wollyfan
    May 3, 2017 / 20:36

    Sent a snapchat.

  9. wollyfan
    May 3, 2017 / 20:40

    Sent you a snap chat. (This will probably double post again. Stupid phone)

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