I promised you a body confidence series, and that’s what you are going to get. I’m aiming for one a month (at least). Here is post three in the series.
Right now I’m looking to others for inspiration in my journey to body confidence. Here are some top tips from some very rad mamas on how to love your bodies…
Top advice to learn to love your body
‘Seek out bodies that look like yours. It’s much easier to see the beauty in others but it doesn’t take long before your perception of your own body alters to match your perception of others.’
‘I hate how much we all, myself included sometimes, talk badly about our bodies. So I’m making a very concerned effort to change my vocabulary. As with everything body positivity starts with the very basic and fundamentals of life and language is one of those. So let’s try this out, let’s exchange:
I wish I was skinny enough to fit in that TO I wish the sizing of this was more inclusive
I’m too fat to do that TO the company’s sizeist policies mean I can’t do that
I’m too big for that TO that’s too small for me
Small changes taking the emphasis off you being at fault for something can create something beautiful. Your body is not a problem that needs a solution, society is.’
A year after he was elected Punky Moms have brought out Pussy Grabs Back a free e-zine of art, poetry, writing and photography by our members and those dear to us on both sides of the Atlantic. Follow the link in my bio to grab one and big up to everyone who worked so hard on this. #issueoneanddone #pussygrabsback
‘Get rid of the stuff that doesn’t fit in the hope you might one day ‘get back into it’ and treat yourself to some stuff that fits your body now and makes you feel good.’
‘Make sure you find the positives and say nice things about the negatives, imagine you’re talking to your best friend.’
‘As I’ve got older I’ve learnt that what my body looks likes isn’t the most important thing in the world. As long as I’m fit and healthy then all is fine. I guess seeing the broader and more important issues within the world has helped – for example my son has severe learning disabilities so to complain about having the odd wobbly bit seems a bit daft now.’
‘Watch the film Embrace! Preferably with another woman or group of woman and go for a drink afterwards to debrief. It was a game changer for me.’
‘I have a “fake it till you make it” approach to body confidence that really works for me. It all started when my little girl saw me getting dressed for a workout. All I’d gotten on so far were my yoga pants and sports bra, and my daughter thought I looked like Jillian Michaels. For her sake, I fought back the urge to reply, “Honey, I look NOTHING like Jillian Michaels. Aren’t you the one who said my tummy looks like a bottom?” Instead, I said, “Hm, you’re right. I do look like Jillian Michaels in this.” I soon discovered that if I say it out loud, I start to believe it. So now, I make a conscious effort to say something positive about my body each day. Fake it till you make it. Eventually, you’ll believe it!’
‘When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about your body, stop for a moment and think ‘would I say this to a friend?’. You are your body’s best friend, and I know I would never say ‘God you look like shit today, so old and tired’ or ‘those thick, wobbly thighs are disgusting, cover them up immediately’ to someone I cared about. You’re beautiful now. Be kinder to yourself.’
‘Embrace your body and be proud of growing your beautiful babies – Dress for you and nobody else ! If you feel comfy in what you are wearing then own it.’
‘Chuck away your clothes that your just keeping because you may just fit back in it one day .. it served its purpose it made you happy then so go find some clothes that makes you feel happy now!’
‘Therapy therapy therapy. Therapy.’
Meet the Wildes
‘I think definitely taking to fellow Mamas… places like Punky Moms UK are amazing for this!’
The infamous Constance Hall has fantastic advice (as usual) about learning to love your body in her book. She advises to make a conscious decision to love your body. She says to tell yourself you love the way your body looks every day, pick a different part of your body to show with compliments every day and never say anything negative about yourself to anybody – treat it like your best friend. I’ve been trying to follow this advice since I read it but it’s not easy to eradicate years of behaviour of looking in the mirror and picking faults with my body.
Yesterday I tried on my wedding dress, for the first time in a long time I walked away without wanting to change anything about my body. Recently I had to make some drastic changes in the way I was speaking to my body. No matter how confident you are, old demons can find their way back in. And as women we can spent a life time not feeling good enough, feeling invisible, hating ourselves for letting our bodies find this shape. So I decided it’s time to start talking to my body with the same love I give my best friend. And I became all “pft you a fucking goddess and don’t forgot that shit” And do you know why I made this decision? Because earlier this year I lost a dear friend, who’s body was riddled with cancer. All that she wanted out of it was another year, another month, another week. She wasn’t asking for bigger boobs or a flatter stomach, at first her medicine made her bloated, then different meds gave her what she called a buffalo hump and then eventually the disease stole every inch of fat, leaving her skin and bones before it stole her life. All she wanted from her body was life, a life to facilitate her love for the people she knew. How can I honour my friend who fought that hard and still hate my healthy body? The truth is I can’t. And I will never stop honouring Lisa, so I choose love. And hope that everyone makes the realisation that your body is your best friend. Treat the bitch with the love she deserves. She’s the only reason your here. And use it to love the people that you love. Nobody on their death bed says I wish I spent more time at a better weight. Life is about love, everything else will just float away. ??❤️
Do you have any good advice about how to love your body? I’d love to hear it in the comments.