One of my favourite things to do is to be real and take the piss out of myself to make others feel better about themselves. I think there is enough online to make us feel shit about ourselves and give us a ‘comparison hangover’. If you watch my Instagram stories daily, then you’ll know this to be my core being.
So with that in mind, I’m going to go out on a limb and confess some of the things (Glamour mag style), that I perhaps should be mildly embarrassed about, in the hopes that some of them will make one of you feel better today, or at the very least, give you a chuckle…
It’s ok, I do it too…
- You gave your baby a pear to eat and you looked back and they had eaten the whole thing, core, stalk and all
- Before you get out the shower, after you’ve wrung out your hair you have to also wring out your substantial bush too
- You eat your kids’ cold, skanky arsed half eaten leftovers more than you care to admit (to others or yourself)
- You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve bumped you toddler’s head on a doorway
- You love to drink the brine out of the can or the pickle juice out of the jar (just me?)
- You hate crafting with the kids or even most kind of games with the kids that persist past ten minutes
- Your kids can swear before they can talk in sentences
- You have so many spots that you name them and they visit so frequently that you assign them personalities and a back story…
- That you deliberately wear maternity jeans when you are going out for a meal (it just makes sense)
- That you still wear maternity jeans full stop – they are so much more comfortable, elasticated waistbands for the win. Why aren’t all jeans made like this?
- That sometimes you forget to brush your teeth
- That you hardly wash your bras
- That your favourite knickers are the huge ones that have period stains
- That some days you’ve had an alcoholic drink before 5pm
- That you throw your kid’s ‘artwork’ in the bin when they’ve gone to bed
- That you enjoy little more than a ‘magic poo’ when you wipe and you are already clean. It’s one of life’s great underrated pleasures.
Please let me know which of these you do in the comments too! I’m really hoping that it’s not just me who does all of these!
Photo credit: Colette from We’re Going on an Adventure.
OMG I hate crafts and kids games so hard, also 99.99% (basically all) artwork goes in the bin. Why does my childminder send so much home? Oh right yeah, to get it out of her own house.
Haha, wait till she gets to school. Honestly it’s shocking how much they bring home. One day he brought like twenty sheets of paper home. In ONE day!
I LOVE THIS!! its such a good post love that it takes the mick out of yourself and makes others feel good about themselves that they aren’t the only ones that do this stuff haha! x
Thanks so much!! x
Yes yes yes to 3,6, 12-15 but I can’t ever imagine number 2! I’m thinking I must be pretty bald now ???
???
Hahahaha magic poo! It now has a name! And I thought it was just me that rarely washed my bra!! x
Haha, yay! So pleased it’s not just me
I drank sooooo much pickle juice when I was preggers! I love this post
Yes!! I don’t have the excuse of being pregnant but I love it ?
Magic poo! LOL! This is hilarious. It is oddly satisfying!
So satisfying!
haha love this Nyomi! My bras need washing thanks for reminding me! ? also YES to the hating playing bit omg it’s mind numbing! and magic poos are my fave!!! x
Thanks for making me feel normal!!
God I used to hate crafts too when the kids were little, surely this is what preschool and nursery is for. And yep totally with you on the washing bras one lol x
I knew we were kindred spirits Tracey!
I still wear seamless over the bump maternity knickers. Not just ones left over from 5 years ago. New ones. I buy new ones.
Comfy, and supportive when you have a post-baby belly, and don’t cause a visible little dip round my tummy when I’m wearing a dress. The ultimate high waist knickers!
Great tip, I love that!