Funny things my kids have said lately – instalment 9

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I just checked when the last time I published a post in my ‘funny things my kids have said lately series and it was June 2019! Almost a year ago, time flies! So it’s definitely time for the 9th instalment and some of these are from quite a while ago now. Anyway, goddess knows we could all do with a laugh right now so here goes…

13 funny things my kids have said lately

  • Lena ‘mammy what is inside your knees? Great question kid, let me google it never.
  • Lena kept head butting. She came home from nursery with a mark on her head. I said ‘how did you do that’, she said ‘I pushed a boy at nursery, he was being mean to my friend’. I said ‘yeah, but how did that give you a mark on your head’, she said ‘that’s how I pushed him’. So she was nutting toddlers in some sort of vigilante role. Several weeks later, she rode her bike to school and I said, ‘you are so strong Lena’. She replied ‘yeah I am, because I have a forehead’. Don’t mess with her.
  • I was talking to Arlo about how we’ve been doing our family tree and we are related to William the Conqueror. Lena overheard and later said to someone ‘Willy Wonka is our grandad’. 
  • Lena to an elderly lady on the Metro. ‘Do you know what this is here?’ (pointing to a vein on her wrist) ‘It’s where your blood is’. Old lady (shuffling away), ‘Oh that’s erm, nice’. 
  • Arlo ‘It always smells here’ (about outside the corner shop we pass on our daily walk). Me ‘yeah people tie their dogs up outside the shop and they wee here’. Lena ‘it smells like you Mammy’. Ouch. Arlo reassured me that this is not the case and now he is my favourite child (joking obvs).
  • Lena ‘You keep after it Mammy’. Me ‘You mean look after it?’. Lena ‘yeah, keep after it’. She always says this and we think it’s super cute.
  • Lena to Papa Ginge ‘You are not the order. Mammy is the order’. She means the boss but sounds like we’ve formed a cult. Also, yes child, you are correct, I am the order.
  • Lena: ‘Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with fish.’ Arlo, ‘fish’. Lena, motions aggressively at me, shaking her fist ‘you told him?!’ 
  • Lena to me ‘I’m so angry right now I really want to punch you in the face but I know that I can’t’. I can’t tell if this is progress or not but I’m pleased she didn’t punch me in the face, she’s exceptionally strong for her size.
  • Lena watching a horrible histories film ‘It’s good to kill people who are really mean isn’t it?!’ Not sure that was the moral of the film kid. She always goes to the dark side.
  • Lena ‘I don’t like this orange juice, it doesn’t taste like itself’. I love the way Lena uses this expression when what she means is it’s different to what she’s used to. It’s so literal.
  • Lena to Papa Ginge ‘I love you so I’m not going to kill you’. There is a concerning theme with this small child!
  • Arlo looking at a photo of me with a mannequin behind me (see below) ‘Who’s that?!’. Oh, that’s just Karen, she’s jealous about my dress…

If you enjoyed this blog post you might like some of my previous funny things my kids have said lately blog posts:

Funny things my kids have said lately - instalment 9

Have your kids said anything that has made you laugh lately? Let me know in the comments!

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