10 things I hate about the school run

10 things I hate about the school run

Ok so I’m going to let rip here because it’s a rainy miserable day, I’ve got the mother of all period cramps and Trump just won the 2016 presidential election on a campaign of sexism and racism so I’m in a crappy mood.

Now I’m new to this school run malarky but it seems a half-term is all it takes to have come across the same irritating shit enough times to become enraged enough to write a blog post about it.

Now, I am a bit bitter and twisted about my school run as I said in a previous post my son was placed in our second choice school (a 25 minute walk away) when we have a school literally 100 metres from our house. For nearly 2 hours a day I’m battling through throngs of about 200 families coming from further away in the opposite direction (because they all got places at the school next to my house, largely by pretending to have a faith that they don’t) on a single lane path. It’s ridiculous. However, despite me being particularly bitter, I’m betting many of you also find some of the following things as irritating as your freshly dunked biscuit falling apart in your cup of tea:

1. The weather – it can be nice and bright all day but you can guarantee the downpours will time themselves precisely for your school run journeys.

2. People who park like arseholes – from the knobheads who block us into our estate, to the idiots who park on street corners to the morons who obstruct the whole school carpark. Are you so stupid you are just oblivious to how much you are inconveniencing everyone or are you just seriously brazen and give zero Fs?! The person below who keeps parking over the disabled access point on the path, when they could easily park a few metres along, is particularly annoying.

Top 10 pet hates about the school run

3. People who stand in thoroughfares – usually people chatting to one another. Don’t do it in the doorway or the gates, just move to a place where you aren’t getting in everyone’s bloody way.

4. People who don’t pick up their dog shit – every goddamn day I see multiple piles of dog shit on my school run. I don’t understand what scumbag leaves their dog’s shit and doesn’t pick up after themselves?! And more importantly, why are there so many of them? My kids step in it or I push the buggy through it as I can’t see ahead or it’s under freshly fallen autumn leaves. This boils my blood. I’ve already prepared my monologue (that I’ll probably wimp out of saying) for when I catch one of the dirty buggers.

The school run sucks

5. Smokers – you want to smoke that’s your prerogative but please be more considerate. The school run is a relatively short period of time. Can’t you just bloody wait to have a fag until it’s over?! If not then do it away from people. I’m either stuck behind someone, walking in their toxic smoke trail, me and my kids choking on the fumes OR they congregate at the school gates. Ok, so you are following the rules and not smoking in the school yard but now everyone has to get through your Hiroshima-esque chemical cloud to get into the school. I don’t like that this increases my baby’s risk of SIDS just because you can’t wait 5 minutes for a tab.

6. Kids on scooters and bikes – I appreciate that the kids are having fun and this may make your school runs easier but make sure they aren’t going to be a hazard to the rest of mankind before you let them loose with their favourite toy. Every day a kid will ride into us or I have to stop abruptly to avoid one. I watch them go into the roads and cause cars to slam their brakes on. As I’ve said, this affects me more as I’m one of the only daft buggers who has to go the opposite way to the rest of the traffic so some days I’d be easier taking my chances on the actual road instead of in the path of hordes of 6 year olds coming at me on whatever bleeding mode of transport is popular on YouTube that week.

7. People who don’t step the fuck aside to let you past. So many parents on my school run meander taking up the entire path. I know you want to catch up with Penny’s mam or whatever but if people are in a hurry trying to get to school so they can get to work, just step aside to let them past. The other day a mother and daughter duo wouldn’t step aside for me when I was in a hurry with the buggy so I tried to go around them on the grass and the buggy nearly tipped over. Instead of apologising they laughed at me. I’m still incandescent with rage remembering it. One day I was waiting to get through the traffic bollards near my house (walking ones on a path) and I counted 27 parents who went through from the opposite direction before one kindly woman let me past, commenting that she thought I would be there forever – me too love, me too!

8. The broken school system that makes parents to lie about their faith to get into a different school. I totally get why patents do it. You want the best for your kids. The problem is the system – too many oversubscribed schools and too many schools that are Ofsted ‘requires improvement’ due to funding cuts. It shouldn’t be a case of having to lie about faith to get your kid into a good school. However, when you do lie about faith you cause issues with congestion, parking, transport and make other parents have to travel way too far or even worse, have kids in multiple different schools.

9. People who don’t have manners – I see the same parents every day and smile or say hi and am often met with blank face. I let someone past to defeating silence. You know who seems to have the better manners? Your teens who are at the next school. They are largely polite, apologise and say please and thank you. I know it’s tough being a parent but life is better when you are friendly to one another. I try not to judge as Papa Ginge is an introvert and I know everyone is dealing with their own battles but still, I expect more from the North East – lets not become London.

10. Finally, arseholes who litter and spit. It’s gross and sets a bad example to our children. Get your shit together!

Ok rant over, I feel better now I’ve written this controversial post! Do you agree with any of these? Do you have any bug bears about the school run? Let me know in the comments and if you’ve enjoyed this post, please follow me on Facebook or Instagram.

Cheers amigos!

The school run is annoying

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17 Comments

  1. November 10, 2016 / 13:47

    Yes to most of these! I spend our entire walk to school shouting ‘WATCH OUT FOR THAT PIECE OF POO’. We walk along one huge cycle track next to a field and don’t have roads to navigate but I would add people who walk their dogs off their leads. Some of these dogs are pretty scary looking and running excitedly in and around loads of kids on their walk to school – it’s a recipe for disaster!

    • November 10, 2016 / 13:49

      Yes, I should have said part of the problem is my journey to school is all just one single lane path, so that’s not helpful. A cycle track would improve matters. I don’t see many dogs so at least there is that but agree that would be annoying too and worrying!

  2. November 10, 2016 / 13:49

    Love this!! I hate the school run too. Mines only 10 minute walk but it’s over the windiest bridge in the uk across the A1 with no shelter! We also have way too many lazy buggers driving which creates chaos cos they can’t be arsed with a 10 minute walk. When the school opened the estate was tiny so offered places to all and sundry in the north east-fine then but then we have siblings coming in who are up the list from those who live on the estate!! Crazy!! We have lots of dog poo too but haven’t seen anyone smoking!

    • November 10, 2016 / 13:51

      Oh Jesus, that sounds perilous! Yes, that’s another big issue – the schools being oversubscribed! Pleased it’s not just me.

  3. November 10, 2016 / 14:57

    This makes me glad we have to drive! That must be so annoying not being able to go to your nearest school. The worst at ours apart from the dog walkers (villagers without kids) who amble down the middle of the narrow road instead of on the path then glare as you walk past (we can’t walk due to being 1 mile outside the village/rural roads with no paths/work timings), are the people who think it’s ok to drive into spaces in the car park (badly) even though the rule is to reverse park.

    Do come and link up to #SchoolDays

    • November 10, 2016 / 17:15

      Yes I mean to link this one up, don’t let me forget! Your village sounds lovely and quaint! What’s the population?

      • November 10, 2016 / 19:32

        Hmm, we’re inbetween 2 – one has about 300 people, the one the school is in must have about 400.

  4. November 10, 2016 / 18:00

    Yes yes yes! I offer people nappysack if I see them nor pick up poo! ‘do you need a bag? Ive loads spare’ in my sweetest voice normally embarrasses them into picking up!

    • November 10, 2016 / 18:03

      Great idea! Someone mentioned picking them up yourself which I should probably do. I don’t even have a damn dog!!

  5. November 10, 2016 / 20:31

    Yes to all of these….I agree with everything you have said.
    I was going on the school run ages ago and some bloke let his dog poo right in front of my gate and walked away and left it… I let rip and said if you don’t clean it up by the time I’m back, I will come and sh*t on your doorstep….He looked terrified. It was gone by the time I got home. lol

    • November 16, 2016 / 06:04

      Good on you Kim! That’s terrible, what’s wrong with people!

  6. November 18, 2016 / 22:32

    Being in my 11th year of doing the school run (yes I am at the end of my tether) can totally relate to most of this. Knobhead parking is particularly one that makes my blood boil nearly on a daily basis. Deep breaths x

    • November 19, 2016 / 14:56

      It’s crazy how many people do this stuff. Boggles my mind!!

  7. January 25, 2017 / 10:15

    Love your post and totally relate to it although my kids are older now. I was so fed up with school run congestion etc I set up Brightkidz social enterprise 12 years ago with info on walk to school schemes (www.brightkidz.co.uk). There are loads of things schools can do to help with these issues such as scooter training, start a walking bus, ‘no dog poo fairy’ posters etc. Needs the school, kids and at least some parents to be willing I know… the main battle! But they are more likely to get support from community police, county council school travel advisors etc if they initiate something. Obviously harder if it’s not your kids’ school Nyomi but hope this helps someone out there.

    • January 25, 2017 / 15:34

      Some great tips there Alison, thank you for sharing!

  8. Dettty
    February 14, 2017 / 14:44

    I was was enjoying this until you said don’t be from London, clearly you know nothing of London parents , certainly more polite , kind & no dog shit on our pavements …. How very judgmental from such a god fearing women 😜

    • April 7, 2017 / 12:46

      Sorry Dettty, I didn’t mean any disrespect to Londoners. I lived in London for a year and very much enjoyed my time there. The North East is know for its friendliness and we pride ourselves on it. In London, when I first moved down I was so confused why when I smiled at strangers on the street and said hello they never responded until my colleagues explained thats just London. I became a bit more like that living there and working in the city too. The pace is just so fast you don’t have time for niceties. Getting on and off the Tube can be a push or be pushed situation, purely because of how busy it is. Its not like that in the North East – its a more chilled out pace and people can afford the time for more pleasantries. And obviously London is huge so its not always like that but it was like that in central london for sure. I’m not saying everyone in London is a wanker – I’ve lots of friends there and enjoy visiting. Its just a different culture.

      As for god fearing – I’m an atheist so I’m fine on that front too!

      Thanks for commenting.

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